I know just how maddening this all can be --- how can this stuff be
sold when it is WAY too much trouble to get working!
Good luck and here's some more places to go for help:
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/943198/en-us
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/925681/en-us
and, of course ... for those of us with CDMA phones
http://mark.cdmaforums.com/