How to Use iPhone to Impress Women
How to Use iPhone to Impress Women
By: JamesWax (see more of JamesWax's blogs)
When iPhone was first released, just having one was enough to draw
attention and establish hipness with beautiful women. Remember when
girls crowded around for a demonstration of the magical touchscreen or
to watch YouTube videos in the palm of your hand?
Their eyes widened with childlike wonder as you described the beauty
and elegance of iPhone and its utter superiority to every device known
to man.
Sadly, those days are gone. In the past year iPhone has become common
place. With the coming price drop to $200 any goober will be able to
get one.
Yet the iPhone is still a powerful tool. Here are the best ways to
unleash the seductive power of iPhone.
1. Unlock it
unlock iphone
Nothing tempts a girl's wild side like a bad boy, and that's exactly
what an unlocked iPhone says: I don't play by the rules, danger
doesn't scare me, and I have crazy skills you can't even comprehend.
Plus it gives you access to the 3rd party apps that are too cool for
regular users.
Who cares if it can be done by any chump in 45 seconds. She doesn't
know that. Bonus points for using the term "hacked" and alluding to
the danger of an iPhone being "bricked".
2. All-Star Photo Album
So you just met a cute girl. How do you prove that you do amazing
things all the time and have many cool friends? This is the ideal use-
case for the All-Star photo album. Create a special album on your
iPhone of all your most impressive pics: snow boarding in the Swiss
Alps, you with your friends at the Radiohead concert, and pictures of
you with other attractive women are all good candidates.
When you get her alone for a moment, say something like, "OMG you've
gotta see this photo of me [insert cool thing here]" and proceed to go
through the entire album, commenting about how great a time you had
and how cool your friends are.
3. iPod Tunes Master
Dozens of targeted playlists in the palm of your hand. This needs no
explanation. Create playlists to set different moods: chill, party-
time, low key, and of course, romantic. To get the ultimate effect,
invest in a set of portable speakers. When you bust out the tunes at
the beach, park, etc. you will be the man. We highly recommend
flipping through cover flow mode for maximum visual effect.
4. Contacts, the more the merrier
Make sure you have lots of contacts, because seriously, you are so
freaking popular. To inflate your contacts count, import all of your
email contacts into your address book and upload them to iPhone. She
won't know that 2/3 of those people have never seen you in person.
Expert tip: Complain about searching your contacts list saying, "I
can't stand looking for contacts on my iPhone -- it only lets you
search by 1 letter. How am I supposed to sort through 300 Johns?"
Note: This is the only acceptable circumstance to complain about
iPhone.
5. Stocks
Women like men with money and ambition. Show her you're on the way to
wealth by constantly checking your stocks. When you catch her trying
to see what you're looking at, casually comment on your gains and
losses, throwing around buzz words like "credit crisis", "oil bubble",
and "consumer confidence". Assure her you will achieve superior
returns by investing in commodities and precious metals that will be
essential to the growth of developing nations.
6. Save the Day with Maps
Maps is the ultimate clutch iPhone feature. The best time to break it
out is when you're with a group of people and need to find something
in an unknown area -- pizza, hardware store, gas station, etc. As soon
as the opportunity arises, execute a search in maps and lead the group
to success. Even better if you can use iPhone to instantly call the
place. By solving the problem and taking charge you'll establish
yourself as a resourceful leader -- a quality highly regarded by
women.
7. Look Smart with Safari
When an argument arises over a particular fact, look smarter than
everyone else by finding the correct answer with Google. This is the
only time you will wish to conceal iPhone use from females. It's great
for settling disputes about the proper definition of a word or the
location of obscure African nations.
In case it's not clear, using iPhone will make you look like a rich,
smart, cultured, resourceful, exciting, and popular bad ass. We can't
wait for 3G.
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